Tracy Williams

Happy New Year!

Man, what a negative year 2011 has been for me.

Well, not all bad in some regards, but I think the biggest weight on my mind is I’ve only done about 60 give-or-take comic pages this year. It’s been bothering me for the past month greatly, but a fire wasn’t lit under my butt like I wished it would have. My brain recycled with “wow, what a failure I am” instead of “so what can I do about it?”

I used to have a yearly goal of 120-150 pages per year, and one year I almost reached it! I believe it was 2009, with 113 pages. Now that I think about it, the last two years’ resolution were “I will -concentrate- (lol) on comics more” not the scary “I will do even MORE this year! 150+ pages!!” that it should have been. I was so proud to do 100+ pages, even if I missed the goal by a few pages, why was I scared of pushing myself a little harder?

So, I feel it’s time to hold myself responsible for the specific 120-150 goal again!

2012 has a lot of projects that should have been done in 2010 and 2011 that I CAN accomplish, but I will have to keep a flamethrower on my ass to get them done. Finishing act 3, a new con book, the donation comic, and going to SPX again.

Basically, it boils down to 3 pages a week if I want to hit the coveted 150 page goal. (Ugh, just thinking how I only did 60-ish this year means…) I’ve made a spreadsheet to mark with a pen the day I finish a page. Every page this year has to go through Alice anyway so I definitely have to stay on my toes. Now, I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t ding 150. I have to remember I didn’t make it in 2009, but I was so damn close and it felt great anyway. Just beat 113 pages!

Related resolutions for 2012:

—Strengthen my focusing “muscle.” Push myself to work a little longer each day, reread my worksheets I’ve received for my ADD, and stick with them no matter how much my brain kicks and screams. I have to remember like working out, I’ll have the big case of the “dun-wanna”s, and feeling mentally wiped by the end of the day. Then do it all again the next. If I can do it physically means I can do it mentally.

—I’ve been pretty good sticking with working out an hour+ 5 days a week for the past couple of months, but I really need to work on eating better if I want to actually lose weight. I still can’t consider to cook less calorie-rich foods, but I can cut down on portions (Ugh) and resolve to plan dinners better and only order out at least once every 2 months. (U-ugh…) I should keep track of this on my calendar too. (Ugggghhhh noooooo I depend on my crap memory to eat out lots…!)

Uwah, I feel excited and what-the-fuck-am-I-saying right now. I had the same reaction when I stated online that I will work out daily, in hopes the self-imposed sense of peer-pressure would get to me. —And thankfully, it has, even if I haven’t reported as much as I wanted to. Here’s to working towards a better year!

31 December 2011 ·